Why Should Gays and Lesbians Have to Behave?
Posted on January 30, 2007
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I’ve been on this gay and lesbian marriage and civil unions kick for a while. I blame it on Andrew Sullivan for writing Virtually Normal. Actually, I’m generally careful to frame the question as “marriage equality.” I find I begin to lose people pretty quickly if I start out honestly. Gay marriage as a term seems to shock people. Marriage equality still begs questions. Some may think it means the woman can be on top sometimes. It can be titillating for the straight and straight-laced.
I like the way (for a politician) Hillary framed her answer to a general question about glbt civil rights. She said in the second of her “conversation” web chats after announcing her candidacy, “I support civil unions.” Other candidates rush to take marriage off the table before allowing for some separate-but-equal formula. She was affirmative and probably provided the fairest answer she believed she dared.
I’ve propagated my qualified satisfaction with Hillary’s answer over several blogsites, especially trying to get the distinction in front of other candidates and those who influence them. I repeated my post about Hillary’s response pretty much verbatim on a “blog” area on the John Edwards site. I had no idea what would happen, but assumed that mild dissent would be tolerated and answered. I was half right. I was answered.
After receiving an email saying my post had been “hidden” because it “did not receive enough votes,” a person with no profile and no “blog” posts who called him/herself “neverlosehope” posted this:
The MSM presentation of ‘Gay’ activism has created a stereotype of hedonism that gets conflated into this issue and just compounds the problems. I do think this is partly the fault of gay activism itself though - you don’t really see the brazen carnival atmosphere of let’s say straight hedonistic ’swingers’ for instance in SINGULAR events like the Stonewall parade event in NYC or Southern Decadence in New Orleans — and events in San Franciso etc…which creates a visceral opposition of gay culture generally and is then specifically applied as opposition to other efforts like this that would otherwise be a legitimate libertarian agenda. [text of entire comment here]
The alarms went off. I’ve no idea who “neverlosehope” is. S/he probably thought she was being helpful somehow. I don’t know whether she is connected with the official campaign. Benefit of the doubt, I’ll say not.
It really doesn’t matter on what site I found the comment. I’ve heard versions of this old saw my whole gay life. You certainly hear this kind of stuff from conservative politicians. Unfortunately, I’ve heard it in the media as well.
Where does it say every member of a group facing discrimination have to behave in a certain way to gain basic civil rights? Do we cancel marriage rights for all because of the way people behave at Mardi Gras or Times Square on New Years’ Eve? Get real! Is the writer arguing that no one should ever actually have to see gay men or topless lesbians?
The African American civil rights movement was not a single movement. During their greatest period of struggle there was the huge MLK non-violent civil disobedience group, all dignified and inspiring, but there were also folks with dissenting views. Some of them challenged the status quo with their own brand of radicalism.
Sufferagettes were not all sent home to bake cookies before they got the vote.
GLBT folks are oppressed specifically because of our sexual natures. We are not barred from lunch counters, so quiet sit-ins where we’re not invited isn’t the same kind of protest for us. When society rejects us for our sexual natures, our sexual natures become the means of our protest. And please, in today’s jaded society, is a gaggle of drag queens, leather daddys and topless women so terribly shocking?
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Why Should Gays and Lesbians Have to Behave?…
When society rejects us for your our sexual natures, our sexual natures become the means of our protest. And please, in today’s jaded society, is a gaggle of drag queens, leather daddys and topless women so terribly shocking?…